Am I the toxic leader?

Erica Kesse

Am I the Toxic Leader? A Guide to Self-Reflection and Growth

As a leader, it's important to be aware of the potential for toxic leadership in your professional and personal life. However, it's also important to be aware of the potential for toxic behavior within ourselves. As an executive assistant, an administrator, a member of an executive team, or a mompreneur, it's important to reflect on our own leadership style and ask ourselves the question, "Am I the toxic leader?"

The first step in answering this question is to understand the characteristics of toxic leadership. This might include traits like manipulation, deceit, and control, or specific behaviors like bullying, harassment, and discrimination. It's important to be aware of these red flags and to know what we won't tolerate in ourselves or in a work environment.

It's also important to investigate our own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. A healthy leader will be able to manage their stress, have a good work-life balance, maintain healthy relationships, and take care of their mental and physical health. It's important to take the time to reflect on our own well-being and see if there are any areas that need improvement.

One important step in self-reflection is doing our own self-work. This includes identifying our own personal biases and blind spots, examining our own thought patterns and behaviors, and actively working to improve ourselves. Seeking mentoring, coaching, and counseling for ourselves can also be beneficial in this process.

As you reflect on your own leadership style and ask yourself the question, "Am I the toxic leader?" remember that growth is a process. It's okay to challenge ourselves and to make mistakes along the way. Joining communities like the Transformational Leadership Community on Facebook, where you can connect with other like-minded individuals who understand the importance of self-reflection and growth, can also be beneficial.

In conclusion, It is important to reflect on our own leadership style and ask ourselves the question, "Am I the toxic leader?" Leadership should do no harm, and it is important to understand the characteristics of toxic leadership vs healthy leadership. It is important to investigate our own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. It is important to do our own self-work, seek mentoring, coaching, and counseling for ourselves, and remember that growth is a process. Joining communities like the Transformational Leadership Community on Facebook, where you can connect with other like-minded individuals who understand the importance of self-reflection and growth, can also be beneficial.

Wellbeing at Work: Why Purpose (Mission) is the Ultimate Buffer Against Burnout

By Erica Kesse • January 23, 2026
Why can a CEO work 80 hours a week on a passion project and feel energized, but 40 hours on a meaningless task feels draining? The answer lies in Purpose . Research shows that connecting work to a higher Mission is one of the strongest buffers against burnout. If you are worried about the mental health of your leadership team, look at your Mission statement first. The "Why" Matters More Than the "What" "Quiet quitting" and executive burnout often stem from a sense of futility. Weak Mission: "We want to increase Q3 profits." (High stress, low fulfillment). Strong Mission: "We exist to save our home planet." (Patagonia). (High effort, high fulfillment).  Leadership Resilience For a CEO, the Mission is the fuel tank. When times get tough, profit goals won't keep you warm. Only a deep belief in why you exist can sustain your wellbeing through a crisis.

Mental Health in the C-Suite: Why Shared Vision Creates Safer Workplaces

By Erica Kesse • January 16, 2026
A toxic work environment is rarely intentional. It usually grows in the vacuum of a clear Vision. When people don't know where the company is going, they become territorial, political, and anxious. For leadership, solving this isn't just about HR policies; it's about painting a clear picture of the future. A shared Vision is a cornerstone of psychological safety. Uncertainty vs. Wellbeing Human beings crave certainty. In the absence of a clear Vision: Employees worry about their job security. Managers hoard information. CEOs feel isolated. This environment destroys wellbeing. However, when the Vision ("The Summit") is clear, the team focuses on the climb rather than fighting each other. The "Mars Group" Therapy Running a visioning exercise (like the "Mars Group" framework) is surprisingly therapeutic. It allows the team to detach from daily stressors and reconnect with why they do the work. It shifts the collective mindset from "survival mode" to "creation mode." A clear Vision doesn't just drive profit; it lowers cortisol. It unifies the tribe and makes the workplace a safer space to be.

The CEO Wellbeing Hack: How a Clear Mission Cures Decision Fatigue Introduction

By Erica Kesse • January 9, 2026
The average CEO makes thousands of decisions a week. By 3:00 PM, "decision fatigue" sets in, leading to poor judgment, irritability, and declining wellbeing. The most effective way to protect your mental health isn't a vacation; it's a decision-making filter. That is exactly what a strong Mission statement provides. The Mission as a Filter A well-crafted Mission statement allows you to automate decisions. Does this opportunity fit our Mission? No? Discard it immediately. (Zero mental energy used). Yes? Explore it. Without this filter, every decision—big or small—requires deep cognitive processing. This leads to brain fog and the feeling of being "always on." Protecting Your "Head Space" Leadership is about allocating resources, and your most precious resource is your attention. A clear Mission empowers your team to make decisions without you. Before: "Boss, should we do this?" (Stress on you). After: "I declined this because it didn't fit our Mission." (Peace for you).
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